So, the kids are on their way to bed; chased off by my hubby and my evening can now become mine. My boys charm me with their smiles; so composed, so handsome....
I have spent the early evening searching for an online book-keeping course as, once again, I arrive home from my 4.5 hour paid employment dis-satisfied. I trawl the web for an answer to my need to find a role for myself that no longer involves working FOR someone. Maybe self employment is the answer? Fortunately a friend has worked as a self employed book-keeper and has agreed to help me investigate the opportunities. We will meet on Thursday to discuss and pool ideas - HURRAH!
Back to " the incident" that once again left me leaving work at 3pm thinking OMG I cannot go on with this - its just far too complicated for me. There's usually something that gets me flustered, there's always an incident, and, people reading this will say - "oh that's nothing, get over it" - they always do - I'm getting used to people undermining Asperger Syndrome! Anyway, today it was the simple task of asking for a weeks holiday in May 2014 that emphasised/reinforced/reminded/highlighted my Asperger Syndrome. There is something subtle every day (sometimes far from subtle actually!) that reminds me that, for me, everyday conversations that should be a breeze have me agonising over my choice of words and the possible outcomes/reciprocal conversations that may occur once those words are uttered! It should be so simple and yet it never is, as people never respond the way I imagine they will. I freeze once people try to discuss things with me - my mind goes blank and there are no words available to me. How to impress your colleagues huh? I just wanted either a "yes you can be holiday" or "no you can't be holiday!" Instead I got "your colleague wants that week off and she's already asked me and so, can you discuss it with her" WTF - are we supposed to have a fight to decide who gets that week off - Harry Hill style???!!
And so, I send emails :)
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